


You Have To Go (Stay, Oh God, Please Stay)

by RedTailedHawks



Series: a study in love and the things we do for it [5]
Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: F/M, Gen, Sad times, Seed family - Freeform, only mentioned - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2019-12-09
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:42:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21729232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedTailedHawks/pseuds/RedTailedHawks
Summary: "I need you to stop trusting me."
Relationships: Female Deputy | Judge/Eli Palmer
Series: a study in love and the things we do for it [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1454839
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	You Have To Go (Stay, Oh God, Please Stay)

**Author's Note:**

> whoop-de-doop here I am with more Eli/deputy content like an Idiot a day before finals start. granted I kind of forgot I had this written up so I re-found it and edited it and here we all are. I was going to write more in between the last part of the series and this part to build up the relationship between them, but this semester straight called me a bitch and stepped on my throat :/ and I don't wanna. If I end up writing more segments in between Easter and you Have To Go (Stay, Oh God, Please Stay) it'll be noted in the summary or the beginning notes or like... whatever I end up doing...
> 
> *jonathan van ness voice* y'know?
> 
> Anyway I have a Salmer playlist on spotify is anyone interested? let me know!

“Eli, can I speak with you for a moment?” Sam asked softly. She gripped his hand in hers and pulled gently. He followed, more in shock than anything else at how soft the usually abrasive Deputy was being. A sense of dread took grasp of his insides. 

It felt like he was getting broken up with. Which should be impossible because whatever it was between him and the deputy felt unbreakable. Even though they rarely acknowledged it and when they did it was soft looks and ghosting touches and whispered confessions on nights neither could sleep. He’s been wrong before. 

Sam lead him all the way to his room. Closed his door and sat him on his bed. She stood between his legs like she belonged. She did. She should. 

“You need to stop trusting me,” she stated. No trace of emotion in the words that struck his heart and shattered it. Sam knew the best way to throw him into a fit of rage. Ever so efficient but he controlled it. If there was anything he hated more than the words that left her was the way her shoulders dip and chest sunk and she curled into herself ever so slightly at a violent movement in a moment where violence wasn’t expected. A mark of her past, she told him. 

“Why?” Eli grit out. “How can I—”

“The second trial already happened Eli,” she said, “and I need you to stop pretending it hasn’t. I— I—“

Her voice broke and any semblance of calm disappeared. He let her reassemble herself. His hands ghosted over her hips as she placed her own on either side of his face. She rested her forehead on his, a recreation of the gesture Joseph greeted his siblings with. But the familial intimacy was nowhere to be found, between them there’s only the desperation of knowing their time was limited. She let her hands ghost from his face to his neck to his shoulders where they solidify in a firm and gentle grasp. Her blunt-nailed fingers twitching downward like they wanted to dig into his skin and take root or perhaps travel lower down his arms, around and under until the palm of her hand rested flat against his shoulder blades. Maybe bury her face in his hair or his beard and let intimacy take over necessity. He’d let her. Oh god, she’d never have to ask. 

“We both know what the third trial entails, and Eli. I. Everytime I step foot into the Wolf’s Den it means I lost. I know I have to put distance between us. Make it as hard as possible for the third trial to happen. But.  _ Jesus Christ.”  _

He said nothing. His right hand left the homey warmth of her hips to wipe away the tears escaping her eyes. He’s sure Sam has gone through every trick in her book to keep the tears at bay. Eli didn’t know what to say, watching her fail at keeping the calm and unemotional demeanor he knew came easily to her. 

“You make it so fucking hard to stay away. So I need you to stop trusting me. Because you can’t and you shouldn’t.”

“What can I say,” Eli blurted out, “I’m irresistible.”

The laugh he got in response was one of the most genuine laughs he’s ever heard from Sam Rook. Watery as it may be. Empty and listless as it felt tumbling into his ears. 

“You’re so fucking annoying,” Sam whispered, “I fucking hate you so much.”

There’s no venom in her words. Just defeat. Defeat in knowing that it would be so much easier if she did hate him. 

“No, you don’t,” Eli said softly. 

“No—” Sam shook her head— “I don’t.” She smiled at him sadly, rested her hands gently on either side of his face. She rubbed the pads of her thumb across the tops of his cheeks. “Eli Palmer, you’re important to me. You’ve become my favorite person. And if Jacob manages to hurt you through me. I will never forgive myself. I think it would kill me.” 

“It’s long overdue that we make a contingency plan. I’m never turning you away, Sam. So let’s make sure neither one of us go where the other can’t follow. In the meantime—“ his next words felt like a hot iron traversing up his throat. All Eli wanted to do was hold Sam close and never let her go—“I think the Henbane region needs you more.”

They let go of each other and Eli stood to watch her go. Watched as she lowered her head and wiped tears from her eyes. He stopped her in a moment of weakness and maneuvered her to face him. 

The kiss was chaste. Eli tried to put as much meaning behind it for her to understand that what he was about to say next was nothing but the absolute truth. 

“I love you too,” Eli whispered upon pulling away. Sam had told him she loved him in every word that spilled from her lips. In every shake from her shoulder, every touch, every tear. He knew it would be long before she’d say it outright, before those three incredibly difficult words ever left her lips. He planned on living long enough to hear her say them but there was no harm in letting her know now. 

He didn’t wait for her to try and stumble through her words. He had plans to make, people to clue in. It was imperative that Sam not know anything she could let out under the stress of her conditioning. 

For once, Eli did as she asked and didn’t trust her. 


End file.
